Understand
by I- The Avenger -I
Summary: Naruto doesn't understand a lot of things, and it doesn't look like he ever will. [Yaoigaybattymanizm]
1. Chapter 1

**Yo! Another SasuNaru story for you all. Enjoy. And if you do, tell me. I'd rather like to know why you like it/hate it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. But I've stolen Deidara.**

What don't I understand? I don't understand a lot of things. I don't understand why people don't like ramen. I don't understand why Shikamaru got through the chuunin exams before me. I don't understand why Kakashi doesn't let me read his little book.

But what I don't understand the most is him.

How can he leave his past behind, and pretend Team 7 didn't happen? How has he got it drilled into his thick skull that killing Itachi will make everything better? Why the hell does he think Orochimaru will help him more than I can?

That's what I don't understand.

One of the last times I saw him, he practically told me he hated me. Five minutes later, he said that I was his best friend (then, admittedly, tried to kill me). **How does he do that?** He's worse than Sakura.

I haven't lost faith yet. I know he's going to come back. He's done something terribly wrong. He has to come back eventually. That's why I moved my bed to the window. It has a perfect view of the streets of Konoha. If he comes back, I'll see him first. I'm going to run down there, and punch him in the face. I won't mean it in a bad way. Just to say "Don't do it again."

He is coming home. I know he is. I check out the window right now. I thought that was him then… it wasn't. Why does everyone seem to look like him? I swear they're all just trying to get my hopes up.

I can't deny it. I do really care about Sasuke. I don't want him to be far away from me anymore. I want him back. What's so wrong in that? When I told Sakura, she looked at me funny. Everyone has been recently. I told Kiba that I felt sick. He asked me how. And I couldn't answer. It just doesn't seem right. I never felt this way before. Maybe I've caught something deadly. I don't want that. I promised Sakura… I promised _myself _I'd bring Sasuke home. After that I'm not fussed.

My doors knocking. I don't want to answer it. It's too far. But I suppose I have to.

It's Shikamaru. He doesn't look too happy. He looks like he's going to tell me something terrible. Is Sakura ok? Has she been hurt? I ask him, and he looks at me in a confused way. No. Sakura isn't hurt. She's fine, at least, until she hears what he has to say. Another thing I don't understand.

Shikamaru lights a cigarette in my room without even asking, not that I mind. I'm not too bothered by the smell right now. I just want to know what's happened.

He says he's dead. Who's dead? I ask him. Sasuke. Sasuke's dead, is his reply.

Is he joking? That stupid Shikamaru. Why is he saying something so cruel? No! No, there is no way Sasuke is dead. He was too strong. Stronger than myself, stronger than Shikamaru. I tell him so, and he sighs, exhaling the sickly smelling smoke into my almost clean room.

The body transfer worked. Sasuke is now Orochimaru's body. As he says this, I clench my fists and break the glass of my window. I can feel the blood trickling down my wrists. I feel so stupid. But I yell that Shikamaru is wrong, so that anyone in Konoha can hear. Shikamaru sighs and leaves my room. That bastard. Why would he lie like that?

Shikamaru's lying. Sasuke's coming back. He's coming back tonight. I run downstairs and sit at my open door.

I wake up suddenly to the sound of kids running past my door. I'm freezing. Suddenly it's light out. I don't understand, again. Had that been a dream?

I clutch at my heart pathetically, trying to feel my heartbeat. I don't think there is one.

Maybe Sasuke really is dead.

**Thanks for reading. I'm not sure if I'm going to make this into anything more than a oneshot. I think I'd like to. So... if you liked it, check back often. Bye!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Heheh, don't expect this story to be updated often, because I often forget to write xD I'm enjoying this _so far_ though, and I've actually planned it all out for once, so you never know! Anyway, have fun reading!**

Disclaimer: Naruto is, unfortunately, not mine.

Shikamaru stood up from behind the abandoned cart on Naruto's street, sighing sadly to himself as he watched his friend break down, finally slamming the door shut with such force that a large crack formed in the middle of it. So, Naruto definitely believed him now. Good, that was good. Though for some reason he felt his hand pull out another cigarette from his pocket. He'd been getting through a lot of these since he'd been introduced to the plan. Maybe he shouldn't have started. He was almost broke.

"What am I doing?" He murmured to himself, making the small child that had ran past Naruto's doors seconds earlier jump. He was supposed to be heading down to Sakura, to convince her. He lit the cigarette quickly as he walked down the road and to Sakura's home.

_Shikamaru struggled as he came around, realizing his back was against a large (and considerably bumpy) tree, finding it hard to breath against the tightness of the rope around his chest, binding him to it. He moved his head from side to side, trying to evaluate the situation. Well, he was stuck against a tree, in the dark. And… the rope just seemed to be getting tighter as he struggled against it. He stopped, wondering if it would untie if he was still. It didn't, which he had obviously expected, but it was worth a shot. So, struggling was out of the question. He tried to think of another escape route, but for some reason his mind wouldn't work. There was some sort of overwhelming, yet familiar, chakra, heading towards him. _

_A shadowy figure stood straight in front of him. He couldn't look up far enough to see it's head, but he assumed it was a boy, and assumed it was…_

"_Sasuke?" He asked, trying to get a view of his face. He heard a light laugh, that was almost psychotic. It had to be Sasuke._

"Shikamaru, I haven't seen you in a while. Tell me, how's Konoha?" He laughed, almost mocking his home village. Shikamaru decided to bite back.

"_Don't you mean, how's Naruto and Sakura?" Not one of his more clever ideas, but hey, he was tied to a tree. He had a right not to think straight, especially when his last memory was going to bed late at night after finishing Tsunade's report. Sasuke was silent, and Shikamaru realized he'd took him seriously. _

_  
"Sakura's fine. In all honesty, I think she's getting over her troublesome crush on you. I've noticed she's been spending a lot of time with Naruto, you know." Sasuke stopped his pacing around the tree and waited for Shikamaru to continue. He didn't._

"_And Naruto?" He asked, irritated that he had had to. Shikamaru grinned._

"_Naruto's not good. I doubt he'll ever be until you come back. He's still looking for you-" _

_  
"**I'm not ever coming back, Shikamaru, do you understand?!" **Sasuke almost screamed in a moment of madness. Shikamaru waited silently for Sasuke to calm himself down again._

"_Why does that dobe keep following me, anyway?!" Shikamaru craned his neck up as high as it would go, because Sasuke sounded sadder than he'd ever heard him._

_  
"Why do you think?" Had been his simple reply. Sasuke was quiet yet again, and Shikamaru took advantage of this situation._

"_Look, can you untie me?" He asked, trying to move his arms again stupidly. _

"_No." Came Sasuke's rude reply, although he sounded as though something important was going through his mind. And he untied Shikamaru against his own word, oddly. Shikamaru rubbed his chest were the rope had been digging in, wishing he hadn't as it stung like hell. He stood up to look at Sasuke. He looked ill and pale. Well, more so than usual. He continued to make observations, but Sasuke interrupted his thoughts.  
_

"_Shikamaru, if you don't do as I say, I'll kill you." Shikamaru stared at the boy, who was actually shorter than him. But there was no point in freaking out until he knew what he was about to be asked, so he waited silently._

"_I want you to tell Naruto and Sakura that I'm dead. You're supposed to be smarter than me. So make up a reason." Sasuke mumbled slightly at the last part, still hating to admit someone was better than him in anything. Shikamaru smiled. He could do that. Easily. In fact, he had kind of wanted to, no matter how troublesome it would be if they found he was lying. And now he had an excuse._

"_Ok." Sasuke smirked, but it faded slowly to a scowl._

"_I'm sorry, Sasuke, but I can't let you go. You're a missing nin, and it's still my mission to bring you back." Shikamaru stated, moving his hands back to his side, Sasuke copying._

"_Release me from the shadow bind, or I'll make you."_

"Hello, Mrs Haruno. Is Sakura home?"

**There you go. Next chapter shouldn't be long either, so you know! Tell me what you think please, it makes me happy. Uhh… right, I should probably be doing something important right now, so… bye!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Not much to say this time, except enjoy please .**

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, but I do have some chocolate.

"Sasuke-kun, you're progress is amazing." Orochimaru admired, sending shivers down Sasuke's spine. He tried to ignore it as he always did, continuing his training in silence. Kabuto fell to the ground next to his feet, sweating and gasping.

"Orochimaru-sama, perhaps we should take a break?" He gasped, clasping the stitch in his side as he did so. Sasuke stopped and looked at his slimy haired sensei, waiting for instructions. The man rolled his eyes and nodded slightly, making snide remarks about how Kabuto was falling behind. Kabuto seemed to ignore them, but there was a slight look of pain and anger reflecting in his eyes as he glared at Sasuke as he packed his sword away.

"We'll continue tomorrow. Congratulations on your progress." Orochimaru grinned. For some reason, Sasuke felt that _wasn't_ aimed at Kabuto.

After training, Sasuke would sit by the lake. He'd just sit there, perfectly still, statue like, glaring at the water, thinking of nothing and just trying to relax. Of course, it didn't work like that. Images popped into his mind, all from the distant past. Sometimes Kabuto would try and talk to him, or sit by him and stare to, lost in his own memories. Others, he'd just go straight back to his room, or to Orochimaru or something. Today was one of the days when he tried to talk to him, for some reason. He didn't try straight away. He sat there for a bit. But every so often he'd open his mouth to speak, but the close it again to think of another way to phrase it. Eventually he decided.

"Sasuke-kun…?" He asked. Sasuke said nothing, he didn't even nod his head in notification, but Kabuto knew he was listening.

"Why do you not see me as part of your team?" He asked as though the question was very unobvious. Sasuke stared out into the water for a bit longer, considering on answering the question.

"Because I hate teams. I work better alone." He finally decided to say, running his fingers through his hair as wind blew into him. Kabuto was silent for a moment.

"What about Sakura-chan and Naruto-kun? Did you not see them as team mates?" He'd barely finished the sentence before Sasuke's answer rushed out of his mouth: No, he had not.

"So why are they so obsessed with you?" Sasuke didn't like his tone of voice at this point. It was although he was about to laugh.

"It's not my fault if they thought_ I_ was _their_ team mate." He answered moodily. He felt childish for saying it in such a manor, but he shook it off and continued to look into the lake.

"But, I mean, surely there was _something. _Naruto-kun's _in love _with you, and I don't even have to mention Saku-"

"Naruto is _not _in love with me. He's just obsessed." He said in an absent minded tone.

"Touchy. What do you mean, not in love? How could it be any more obvious? He follows you constantly- all he wants is you. If he doesn't have you, his life can never be complete. How can that not be love?" Kabuto seemed very out of character for some reason as he said this, his eyes almost glazed over. Was he over-acting it? He toned it down a bit and laughed at what he had said.

"That's bullshit." Sasuke mumbled under his breath, loud enough for Kabuto to hear. The white haired man continued to laugh slightly as Sasuke stood up quickly and moved out of sight, muttering angrily about Kabuto knowing nothing.

Kabuto stood as well, taking a look in the direction Sasuke had stormed off into.

"Orochimaru-sama, I think I've made it worse."

**Uh… perhaps not my best chapter. I'm too eager to write the next one. I have it all planned out you see. It probably won't be half as good as I hoped, but you know xD Hope you enjoyed it!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Took me a little longer than I'd hoped, but you know xD Have a read!**

**Disclaimer- I do not own Naruto. And I can't spell disclaimer, thank God for spell checks.**

Sasuke clenched his fists in anger, trying not to punch the rocks next to him. Why couldn't he just be calm? This was nothing unusual, Kabuto always had something that he could use against Sasuke, but this had bothered him a whole lot more than usual. He entangled his fingers in his own hair and closed his eyes, trying to take deep breaths. _Damn it Sasuke, don't loose it. _His mind was aching. He sat down under the tree, as out of sight as he possibly could be with out turning invisible.

Come on, there was never anything going on between him and Naruto. They were _friends. _Hell, most the time he couldn't even bring himself to call him that! So, alright; maybe there had been a few times when… it could have been… or at least, seemed… he clenched his fists again and hit his head off the tree in a retarded effort to calm himself again.

So, maybe Sasuke had saved Naruto's ass a few times. That was normal "friends" behaviour. He _had _to save Naruto. There was no other option. So why had Kabuto said something like that? It had to be based on _some _truth. No, Kabuto was just a bastard.

But… hadn't Naruto tried to tell him something? When he was leaving? Surely… but his voice was suddenly ringing clearly in his ears.

"Sasuke… I…" He didn't finish that sentence? Why?! Why the fuck not?! Knowing Naruto, it would have been something like "I'm going to kill you." Nothing unusual there. _Normal fucking friend behaviour._

But…

He was forcing a memory back. He didn't want to remember it. It was just going to make things worse. But, you never can keep something at the back of your mind forever.

There was a moment, when he was leaning of Naruto's dying body, that… he'd just wanted to collapse. What would Naruto have done if he had woken up with Sasuke lying on his chest? The weight of everything was too much. He was just fucking thirteen. That was his _best friend, _and he had to leave him so soon? If only Itachi had been a normal fucking brother. If only Itachi hadn't killed his whole family. Maybe then Sasuke could have used the word "normal" to describe himself. Normal definitely wasn't what this was. Normal was _not _how Sasuke was feeling about leaving his best friend.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" Sasuke growled to himself, tasting the grass he was lying face down in as he opened his mouth.

**I'm disappointed. I could have/ should have written this so much better. Ah well, my music's loud and the sun is out. How am I supposed to concentrate? Anywho! Like… tell me what you think . Next chapter coming soon I hope.**


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